10 Things the Dentist ALWAYS Tells or Asks You During Each Visit:

10) “How’s the weather outside today?”

– Poor trapped souls…bound to a life of indoor activity…

9) “Where are you going to school again?”

– The same place I said last time. Now we’re not continuing forward with this procedure until you guess.

8.) “What’s your major again?”

– The one where I sit on my rear and hunch over at my desk all day.

7) “Holy crickets!! What do you do?! Soak your mouth in soda pop every night?! Your teeth are MESSED!”

– Paraphrasing.

6) “The reason your gums are bleeding uncontrollably is because you don’t floss…”

– They say as they exude ridiculous amounts of pressure on my gums using floss.

5) “You better start flossing…lest I kill you next time I see you.”

– Paraphrasing.

4) “Close a little.”

– Apparently really wide’s not always good…but I’m an overachiever like that.

3) “Open wider.”

– But you just told me to close!

2) Turn TOWARDS me…

– Not meanly, but you can tell they’re PISSED.

1) “Please stop licking my fingers…”

– That one might just be me…


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