14 Commercials That Will Make You Regret the Invention of Television:

Many things bother me in life. Perhaps none more than terrible television commercials. I often wonder how the people put in charge of coming up with these terrible ideas get jobs in the first place. Likewise, I wonder how people who make the types of terrible decisions that result in these ads can even function as a competent person in society. But I digress…

Here are 14 commercials that you’ll hate so much, you’ll actually feel bad for the people and companies who made them…in a, “Wow, you’re a really terrible person, aren’t you?”… kind of way:

– I only posted one Progressive commercial, but any of them would suffice.

Not only will these commercials not die already, but Flo herself even found a way to make it into Progressive’s new television ad campaign, which seems to have been short lived and ditched for…..more straight up Flo. Neat.

– The end of this commercial probably has the worst acting performance of all time. That can’t be an actor…it just CAN’T be. I would sleep so much better at night if I knew that was the director’s brother or something…or would I? Perhaps even more satisfying would be discovering the guy went to a prestigious acting academy…

That’s not even the best part of the commercial, though…

– I have nothing to say.

– I would just like to point out that the CGI bus at the beginning is mistakenly driving backwards.  CGI is a powerful tool, people. Dangerous when put into the wrong hands. I liken it to giving a wife power tools.

– I’d rather be stuck on a bus with The Olsen twins, Tony Danza, and a “Peggy Sue Got Married” Nicolas Cage…

– Either bring back “Pepper Bar”, or stop making commercials.

– Gotta give the guy recognition for not even bothering to make an effort to sound like Dr. Evil. As if he just knew he sucked at the impression regardless.

– Whoops…sorry….I meant to save this one for my upcoming “BEST commercials of all time” list…

– State Farm Insurance commercials advertise to you that they can magically make anything appear or teleport anyone at any given time with a simple command. The problem these days is companies forget what the actual purpose of a commercial is…to advertise your PRODUCT. + 2 points though for pointlessly spending money on bringing in mega super star LeBron James.  I’m sure that was worth it.

– The sad thing is that this commercial was the guy’s “big break” for landing roles in television ads. Crappy actors everywhere, take heart!

– I can’t believe someone actually signed off on this thing…

– I’m pretty sure this was the official death of the Caveman commercials, as it was the last one I ever saw before it became extinct (no pun intended….but harharhuuurrr!).  So for that fact alone, this commercial could actually be considered the best one of the entire bunch, even though it’s technically the worst  Once again…what exactly is being sold here? How is this helping the company make any money? All I can take away from this commercial is to stay away from Baltimore.

– Here’s a little fun fact about me: I despise all commercials that pretend they are real when they are actually fake. This one could quite honestly be the worst of the worst. Notice the guy already finished shaving his ENTIRE face with the crappy razor BEFORE he shaved with the Gillete. And the results?…….WOW!  Smooth shave!!!!  Here’s a neat little tidbit, though……you could shave your entire face with a rusty knife and it will STILL be the smoothest shave of all time if you had already just shaved a minute prior to that.

And the song at the end…improv at it’s finest? Straight form the improv school of Micahel Scott, perhaps?

– Yet another “this is a totally REAL commercial and we’re wasting money trying to convince you we’re a REAL commercial instead of telling you how good our product is!” commercial.

That’s all for now, folks.  Despite the terribleness of these ads….you can take comfort in knowing that people with absolutely zero talent and/or zero marketing skills are hired to make the type of decisions that potentially make companies profit or lose hundreds of thousands of dollars.

So take heart, recent marketing graduates who are currently jobless. There’s hope for you yet…no matter how terrible you are at what you do.


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