“La Liste des 8s” is French for, “The List of 8s.” This is when I post a list of 8 things….hence the name….
1) People who take too long to turn when the left turn light finally turns green.
There is no light that takes longer to turn green than the left turn light. There is also no light that goes away faster…
Hint: This isn’t a line at an amusement park. When the person in front of you moves, YOU MOVE TOO. The length between you and the car in front of you should not be more than 1.5 cars. If you can’t comply to this, kindly tear up your driver’s license.
2) People in the background during basketball games when they’re showing the commentators talking.
“Oh, am I on TV? Wow! Yeah! Look at me! This is too funny! I should do a funny gesture. Haha! Wow…I’m still on. Look at me! WOW! Whoops, the commentator’s shoulder cut me off….better get back into frame. Yep, there we go. I’m on TV again. Wow! Look at me! I’m on TV! Wow!”
Hint: You gotta play it cool. By acting like a clown, you’re basically telling America, “I’m a nobody and this is the highlight of my life.”
3) People who buy a few things at a grocery store/gas station checkout and mess around with their wallet for 10 seconds while everyone’s waiting for you to move so the line can keep moving.
Hint: Move your items to the side and THEN mess around with your wallet. Gosh. Some people, I tell ya…
4) Chris Mau.
5) That person at the gym who directly stares at you from a foot away while you’re on a machine…waiting for you to leave so they can use it.
Hint: Do another machine while you’re waiting…or just don’t look so desperate.
6) People who brag/complain about working long hours.
Not only is it TYPICAL to work long hours, but there are far more people who work longer hours than you do…and are 10 times better at what they do than you are…and they also do a job 10 times more important to society than yours is.
Hint: You aren’t special. Shut up.
7) Dummies at the gym who wear headphones while playing a game of basketball.
I call these people rich trash. Or wannabe rich trash. They think they’re cool, but end up coming off as punks who are ruining America.
Hint: I have no hints for you. There is no redemption.
8)) Online message forum people.
Opinions and winning arguments are all that matter.
Hint: Try talking to people in real life the way you talk to them online and see what happens…