Driver’s Manifesto: Unofficial Rules of the Road (#3)

Welcome to The Driver’s Manifesto: Unofficial Rules of the Road. Driving is a large part of all of our lives, but some people just don’t know how to handle the pressure of driving around in a large motorized vehicle…or how to avoid being crushed by one. The purpose of this segment is to go down the large dirty laundry list of things that need fix’n on the road…in or out of the car!

Ok, folks…if you’re going to change lanes, you need to look over your shoulder before you switch. Not once you’re already half way over and just about to smack into me. Here’s the thing that really drives me crazy though. Once some people pull back over into their lane so they don’t hit me, THEY START IMMEDIATELY MERGING INTO ME AGAIN. As if to say, “Ok, well that was your warning. I’m literally going to merge now whether you like it or not.”

The futch?!

No! Just because I know you want to merge now doesn’t mean I’m supposed to be the one catering to you so you can merge into my spot! Sure, if their lane was ending and they needed to get over, it’d be more understanding. But no. No. The multiple times this has happened, it was nothing like that.

Crappy drivers of Maple Grove, you wait until I drive past you or slow down for you if you want to get over! If I’m parallel to you, that doesn’t mean, “It’s go time!” Good gosh people! Why are you all so so SO bad at driving!? I’d honestly feel safer running around naked on freeway 94 passing through Minneapolis than I do driving my car in Maple Grove…

3) Look before you begin to merge lanes. And if you are merging, just because someone knows you want to merge doesn’t give you the right to automatically do so.

2) If you’re in the way of someone who’s in their car and can easily get out of the way….move. And especially don’t just stare!

1) Gradually slow down when approaching stop lights. do not suddenly slam down the brakes, especially when you’re still far away from the actual stopping point.


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