Star Wars Episode VII: Title Ideas

Star Wars Episode VII: A New Legacy

Star Wars Episode VII: An End is the Beginning

Star Wars Episode VII: The Ancients Awaken

Star Wars Episode VII: A Bad Robot

Star Wars Episode VII: The Fear Awakens

Star Wars Episode VII: Hide Your Sh#%

Star Wars Episode VII: The Ascending Order

Star Wars Episode VII: A New Formula

Star Wars Episode VII: Disney Produced—Ergo No One Gets Cut in Half

Star Wars Episode VII: Gollum is in This

Star Wars Episode VII: When You Wish Upon a Star

Star Wars Episode VII: Han Dies

Star Wars Episode VII: Jar-Jar’s Rein

Star Wars Episode VII: Blah Blah Blah Harrison Ford

Star Wars Episode VII: Han Solo…But Crankier

Star Wars Episode VII: Long Live Greedo

Star Wars Episode VII: Who Are These People?

Star Wars Episode VII: The Real Sequel

Star Wars Episode VII: Ding Dong George is Gone

Star Wars Episode VII: Will Smith’s Son is Not In This

Star Wars Episode VII: Day of the Dumpster

Star Wars Episode VII: They’re Back

Star Wars Episode VII: Chewie’s Day Out

Film Thoughts: My, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” Experience. Did I shed a tear….?

This blog post is dedicated to my Harry Potter experience. Not really a review…but more so thoughts and observations…

And as you can see in the title…I just might have shed a tera or two. But why? And when? Guess you’ll have to read on…

***SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!***

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Websites to Check Out: Pinterest.com

You know that potential donut website I wrote about in my last post? I’ve retired that idea in favorite of my new addiction….a site called Pinterest.

What does this have to do with me giving up on my donut idea? Well you see…it’s a site that lets you curate your own boards (IE galleries) by clicking on a “pin it” button in your browser’s toolbar that lets you immediately send any image you come across on the interest to your own Pinterest board.

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14 Commercials That Will Make You Regret the Invention of Television:

Many things bother me in life. Perhaps none more than terrible television commercials. I often wonder how the people put in charge of coming up with these terrible ideas get jobs in the first place. Likewise, I wonder how people who make the types of terrible decisions that result in these ads can even function as a competent person in society. But I digress…

Here are 14 commercials that you’ll hate so much, you’ll actually feel bad for the people and companies who made them…in a, “Wow, you’re a really terrible person, aren’t you?”… kind of way:

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Filmkritik: X-Men First Class Review (aka Magneto Origins)

Disclaimer: “Filmkritik” is German for, “movie review.”

Wait….what?  Magneto Origins?  Well you see, before X-Men First Class got green lit, Magneto was set to star in his own origin story, just like Wolverine did a few years ago.  Thankfully though, that ended up not happening.  Unless, that is, this type of movie is your cup of tea….

Oh gosh...make it stop. Please.....make it stop....

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Filmkritik: Bridesmaids

Disclaimer: “Filmkritik” is German for, “movie review.”

I went into this movie not knowing quite what to expect.  On one hand, I had people telling me it was one of the funniest movies they had ever seen.  These same people, however, also said most of the “funnies” happened earlier on in the film and that many parts went on too long.  So with that in mind, I knew I was going to be seeing something good.  I just didn’t know exactly HOW good…

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Medication and Death: Hand in Hand

I’m currently on a medication that makes you extremely ill if you drink any alcohol while on it.  It makes you so sick in fact, that they actually give this stuff to people if they have severe alcohol problems.  And by alcohol problems, I mean getting drunk on a continual basis, in case you didn’t catch that……..

So anyway, that’s fine with me.  After all, I don’t drink.  Not necessarily because I’m ethically against it, but because I refuse to look like the michelin man ever again…

Coming to steal your cake....raid your fridge....

But moving on here….so I swished some mouth wash in my mouth today.  Then some slid down my throat.  Then I realized what the main ingredient in mouth wash is.

…..yeah…..

I’ve been slowly dying since 5:30pm. Gradually…and assuredly.

Energy Drinks I Drink:

Have you always wanted to be as crazy and procrastinational as myself?  Then reach for the stars and drink what I drink!

Torrey Says:

Have you ever had a good tasting drink?  It’s like that….but not as good.  Sometimes leaves itching feeling in back of throat.  Small can.  Obviously overpriced, but healthier than most.  So they claim……we’ll let the lab rats decide that one….

Claim to fame:

“BURN UP TO 100 CALORIES” by drinking!  You could literally open the can, burn .00230234324 calories by doing so, and prove that slogan right.  Genius.

Percent Chance of Feeling High After One Can:

30%

Percent chance of passing out after consumption:

75%

Torrey Says:

Tastes like gummy bears….turns you into a gummy bear.  Overpriced.  But if you buy 3 of them at the same time………it’s still overpriced.  You’re welcome.

Claim to fame:

Sweetened with stevia.  NEAT.

Percent Chance of Feeling High After One Can:

20%

Percent chance of passing out after consumption:

30%

Torrey Says:

One of the best tasting.  Blue.  Blue = always tastes good.

Claim to fame:

Makes colons explode.  Makes new, fake colons mad.  I suggest putting a picture of a cartoon colon with a giant red X running across it.  Not a real picture….a CARTOON picture.  More playful and appealing to the kids…

Percent Chance of Feeling High After One Can:

75%

Percent chance of passing out after consumption:

75%

Torrey Says:

Dirt for the price of gold.  But hey, you don’t crash later!  You know what else doesn’t make you crash later?  Poison.  That liquid gold puts you down and keeps you there.

Claim to fame:

Hey!  That WAS fast and easy!  If only it tasted good and didn’t cost 3.50 a pop!  But hey, it was fast AND easy!  So it was worth it!  Screw ENJOYING a fizzy drink every morning.  I’m going to slam this crappy tasting dime’s worth of liquid down my throat for a bloated cost, look into the camera and tell you how fast AND easy that was, and then do something completely irrelevant, showing you how I now have time to do something else since that was so fast AND easy.

FOG NAUT!

Percent Chance of Feeling High After One Can:

60%

Percent chance of passing out after consumption:

60%